Home Sweet Home

The new place has come together. There’s art on the walls, food in the cupboards. The smoke alarm has proven itself worthy. Grace has puked in the corner of the living room. Eric has (almost) stopped giving me a weird look when he finds me watching The Golden Girls in my underwear. We are home.

As we were settling in, we found that we had a fair amount of household stuff to buy. We were both all too familiar with the Target trap- go in for Kleenex, walk out two carts and $200 poorer- so we decided to explore the online route. We navigated to Amazon and ordered ourselves 6 months worth of paper towels, laundry detergent, dish soap, etc.

I guess I had thought that we would get monthly shipments of our various wares so imagine my delight when I came home to discover the toilet paper had arrived in bulk!

Naturally, I made a fort.

and Eric (almost) didn’t give me the pantsless Golden Girls look.

Prepping for Burning Man

John is leaving to go to Burning Man this weekend, so we hit up some thrift stores around town to get him some costume stuff.

The evening consisted mostly of me being distracted by awesome stuff for myself, and not helping John much at all.  It also resulted in some of the funniest / weirdest conversations we’ve ever had.  Which says a lot, as you probably know.

Me: *holding up pink blazer* “What about this?”
John: “I already have a pink blazer.”
Me: “Yeah, but is it THIS color pink?”
John: “No……”
Me: “Exactly.  And this one has shoulder pads.”

——-

Me: “Oooooo – look at these purple slipper thingies!”
John: “You’re not helping…”
Me:  “Yes, I am!  These are awesome…. for me.”
John:  “We’re supposed to be finding stuff for me!”
Me: *sighs and puts slippers back* “Oooohhhhkay….”
——10 minutes later—–
John: *begins to try on the purple slippers*
Me: “Uhm, those are the slippers I was just trying on – they’re gonna be to small for you.”
John: “They are?”
Me: “Yes.  Pay attention.  Those will fall off your feet at burning man anyway.  And more importantly, they’re much cuter on me.”

Suddenly, a song starts playing over the sound system – a beat which I know well.  I look up at John in shock.

John: “What?”
Me: “Holy shitballs.”
John: “What!??”
Me:  “We just got Rick Rolled*.”
John:  *laughing* “Holy crap, that’s awesome.”

We found many goodies while we were out (and yes, I did come home with a large red & white striped popcorn bowl.  Because who doesn’t need that!??), and also a pair of vibrating slippers that I REALLY wanted to buy, but realized that I have 2 pairs of slippers at home and I was being ridiculous.

DAMN.  I should have bought them.

We even stopped for some frozen custard on the way home.  It was SOOO YUMMY and we both felt like fat-asses by the time we got back.  But that didn’t stop John from asking….

John: “Can you find your fishnets so that I can try them on?”
Me: “Sure!” 
*long pause*
Me:  “Wow, did that just happen?”

Anyway, I think John is pretty well prepared for his Burning Man trip now.

He’s so ready, it’s kind of scary. No really, he’s freaking me out.

*if you don’t know what it means to get “Rick Rolled” you should probably just crawl out from under that rock you’ve been living under and find out. :)

Bored

I hate being bored.

I am bored bored bored.

SOOOOO BOOORED.

I think everyone that works a regular job has left the office already.  EXCEPT ME.

Do you know what I do sometimes when I am bored?

I look at cute little animals on Cute Overload.

Look at this cute fuckin’ lil’ guy. I mean – how fuckin’ cute is he? UGH!! SO CUTE!

OR, I mosey on over to 22 Words.  You’ll get caught in the “Just one more page… then I’ll stop…” loop.  I warned ya.

And this picture that I found there is AWESOME.

Oh, Simon Pegg – how I love thee! :D

You wanna laugh so hard you’ll pee?  Check out Texts from Dog.  He talks a bit funny sometimes (he’s British, give him a break), but it makes me giggle a lot.

Example…

Or sometimes I’ll just post somethin’ here.

Thanks for the good times folks!  And for helping me not be bored for a few minutes. :)

Have you ever emailed one of your heros?

Cause I have.

Just now. I just emailed The Bloggess. If you haven’t read her blog, go. Do it right now. The woman is fucking hilarious. She has a bit of an obsession with taxidermied animals so when I came across something called Rogue Taxidermy on Regretsy (another brilliant site, check that one out too!) I had to share it with her.

Here’s what I sent:

Dear Bloggess,

My friend, Beth and I love, LOVE your blog and wanted to write to offer up our most biggest congrats on the success of your book. And also to share this with you:

http://www.regretsy.com/2012/05/04/rogue-taxidermy/

I found it today and immediately thought of you. Beth and I have decided to call the crazy-penis-magician-monkey, Chris Angel. Because he looks like a Chris. And also because it’s easier than saying crazy-penis-magician-monkey every time we talk about him.

Best of luck on the rest of your tour! 

Megan -www.chickpeasandhulahoops.com

PS. Chickpeas & Hulahoops is our shared blog. We like to think we’re funny. :)

PPS. We named the bird, Shaquille.

 

And then (here’s the best part) SHE EMAILED ME BACK!!

No kidding, I peed my pants a little bit. And got a boner.

She said, “Love it!”

That’s an exclamation point at the end of that “Love it”. It’s a big deal.

Thank you, Bloggess, for making my entire week!