Megan, Me, Food, Drinks, Cabin in the Woods

That sums up the evening pretty well…

Megan: “OK, what can I eat?”
Me: “Well I kinda whipped up this coconut curry tomato soup thing…”
Megan: “Of course you did.”
Me: “Wanna try it?  I put tomatoes in there with some sauce, some coconut milk, honey, salt, curry paste..”
Megan:  “Yeah, I can taste all of that. Yum.”
Me: “It’s great over Ramen noodles, but we ran out of Ramen.”
Megan: “I think I have some in my car…”
Me: “Of course you do.”

—later—

Me: “Thanks for bringing the orange juice.  Somebody left cake-flavored vodka at our house – I think it’d be good with that.”
Megan: “Works for me.”
Me: “I want something fizzy in it too.  Would it be weird to put beer in there?”
Megan: “I dunno, go for it.”
Me: “This could be total genius or totally gross.”
Megan: *sips drink. Scoots drink closer to her and turns away with it under her arm.
Me: “I’ll take that as ‘genius'”.  

—later—

Megan: “MERMAN!!”
Me: “I know, right!?”
*many giggles from both sides.

We needed some quality time together. :)

 

We don’t always have to like the same things

The other day I was texting with my friend Mike about a movie I wanted to go see…

Me:  “I wanna go see Cabin in the Woods, but I can’t find anyone to go with me.  I know John would go but he’s out of town!”
Mike:  “Don’t see it.  It’s awful.  I walked out halfway through.”
Me: “REALLY!?  But I heard it was SO GOOD!”
Mike: “It’s awful, trust me.”

Well, since I’m such a good friend, I decided to completely ignore his advice, and see the movie anyway the moment John got back into town.

IT. WAS. AWESOME.

YES. AWESOME.

Seriously, this was one of the best movies I’ve seen in a while.  It was unique, clever, scary, witty, gory, magical – basically everything awesome all in one place.  And there were zombies.  And a unicorn.  And a MERMAN!

I guess it’s a bit hard to explain, but let’s just say it was written by Joss Whedon (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Firefly – two of the best shows ever), and Drew Goddard (co-writer of Buffy, and Cloverfield).  So basically two badass guys making a horror flick.  Friggin’ awesome.

I told Mike that I’d seen the movie and explained (with many exclamation points) that I couldn’t believe he didn’t love it so much that he wanted to puke.  Then I asked a VERY important question…

Me:  “Wait a second…. do you like ‘Shaun of the Dead‘?”
Mike:  “It was okay.”

To me, if you like the same things that I do, the proper response would be “YES I FRIGGIN LOVE THAT MOVIE – it’s total comedic / horror genius!!” – or at least something along those lines.

So I therefore realized that Mike and I can no longer be friends.

KIDDING.  We just can’t ever watch movies together.  Or anything with zombies in it.

‘Tis a sad day for our friendship.
And for zombie movies.

The Walking Dead – TOTALLY unrealistic

Sorry about all the zombie posts lately* – I guess I’ve got zombies on the brain!  Get it?  Brain?  ‘Cause zombies eat brains?  Nevermind.

Anyway, John and I have been watching “The Walking Dead” lately on Netflix, and I realized last night that it’s startling how little the writers of this show have really thought through the zombie apocalypse.

We've got guns and a baseball bat. That'll be enough, right?

I mean – there’s this scene where they’re at camp, and two women are at a makeshift table with their kids reading or studying or something.  READING.  Sure, go ahead & relax guys.  Take a break from your humdrum life of survival.  I mean, it’s not like zombies are going to just creep up and attack you while you’re sleeping.

Oh wait...yes they will. THEY'RE FUCKING ZOMBIES.

And guess what.  SPOILER ALERT: They TOTALLY DO.  You know what’s more important to teach your kids during the zombie apocalypse?  I dunno – maybe how to shoot a rifle?  How to trap rabbits so that they can fucking eat?  How to gut a fish?  How to find water when it all runs out?  How to set up a fucking perimeter around their camp that’s NOT FORTIFIED AT ALL and totally in the middle of nowhere so that they can hear the zombies coming in the middle of the night when they’re completely asleep and dreaming of sugarplums and rainbows and fucking unicorns??

Maybe I’m being a bit harsh.  But hey, it’s the fucking APOCALYPSE people.  The ones who are going to make it aren’t sitting around twiddling their thumbs trying to figure out how to pass the time. THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING TO DO DURING THE APOCALYPSE!!  Build a fort!  Collect firewood!  Kill a squirrel for crying out loud!

Shit, even in Robin Hood Prince of Thieves they knew that moving their houses up into the trees would be an advantage to them.  I bet zombies can’t climb trees very well.  And that “totally real” story took place in fucking medieval times.  But I guess this is how the iPhone has ruined us – we can’t even figure out how to make a tree fort anymore without an app to get us started.

God, camping is fun. I only wish it wasn't so boring! If only we had something to do to prevent ourselves from getting killed by zombies!

Honestly, I’m a bit surprised these characters have made it this far.

*I’m not actually sorry about writing about zombies all the time.  You gotta know about this shit if you’re gonna be prepared, people.

Why I need to start wearing my glasses more often…

Hey, it’s Beth!  Hope your weekend was so awesome, that it was even better than seeing a squirrel falling off of a fence.

So my friend Stacey and I get up early 3x a week to go jogging (do you feel like a lazy-ass yet?).  Since it’s wintertime it’s pretty darn dark still at 6:00am.  And this is where our story begins…
———————-
*While jogging in the park, I look over and see a large mound of SOMEthing beneath a tree…

Me: *grabbing Stacey’s arm – “Oh. My. God.  WHAT IS THAT!?”

Stacey: *slightly panicked – “What is what??”

Me: “Right there!  Under that tree!  WHAT. IS. THAT!?”

Stacey: “Uhm… that is a pile of rocks.”

Me: “WHAT!?  Really?  Ohmygosh thank GOD.”

Stacey: “What did you think it was?”

Me: “I thought it was a dead child!”

Stacey: “You really need to start wearing your glasses more often…”

Me: “No really!  I thought it was!  You know it’s always the joggers that find the dead bodies!*  I swear, every time you watch the news, it’s those early-morning people that stumble across a corpse during their AM cardio session.”

Stacey: “…okaaaay…and maybe you should also cut back on the ‘Criminal Minds’.”

Me: “You’re probably right.  Man, I’m glad I was wrong here.  I do NOT have the time for discovering a dead body this morning.”

Thanks for making me paranoid, y'all.

*this joke I credit to Chris Voth.  It popped into my head at that moment, and to be honest, I think it’s funny because it’s based on truth.