As part of my job, I’m sometimes required to help drive comedians to press interviews (TV & Radio). I work at a comedy club, so it happens. Sometimes they are super cool, sometimes they are hungover, sometimes they hit on me, sometimes they are grumpy little bitches, sometimes they are so…ahem…large…(fat, I said it), that they barely fit into my car.
So yeah, I have some stories.
Here are some funny ones!
Glenn Wool is a pretty rad dude from Canada that’s made quite a name for himself up North in America’s Hat. During the car ride, I mentioned that I played roller derby – which is always a nice conversational piece since it makes the small-talk a bit more interesting.
While we were returning back downtown from one of his interviews at a rock station, we turned on the radio, and Glenn immediately started drumming on the dashboard to a certain rock song that came on. Evidently it was an Alice in Chains song, but I had no idea (I’m not exactly a fan).
Me: “Uhm… who is this?”
Glenn: “WHO IS…WHAT?? NO!! I WILL ROLLER DERBY YOU RIGHT OUTTA THIS CAR!”
First time I’ve ever heard “Roller Derby” used as a verb. It was pretty funny, and I’ve always been more than happy to drive him to press interviews since.
DAVID ALAN GRIER
A little back story here…. I used to drive a little bitty blue Hyundai Accent. I loved that damn car. It was the perfect size to fit into just about any parking space, I loved that it was a manual (sometimes I drive John’s car just so that I can shift again!), and it was MINE – I didn’t owe a penny on it.
My dad always used to tell me that the car was kind of a junker though, and was always asking me when I was getting a new one. What!? Get rid of Audrey?? NO WAY, man! She’s awesome!
A few weeks later I picked up David Alan Grier for a TV interview. He got into my car, and the first thing he said was: “Hey, this is a nice little car! I like it!”
My jaw dropped, and I laughed in surprise.
I explained to him about my dad, and how he never really liked my car.
Me: “Can I PLEASE tell him that David Alan Grier likes my car?”
DAG: “Absolutely! This is a nice little vehicle right here. It’s pretty great! You can zip around, but it’s surprisingly spacious inside. What more do you need?”
Me: “THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN SAYING! Thank you!”
Now, I had no idea what to expect when I met Jennifer Coolidge. I absolutely LOVED her in “Best In Show” – her part was ridiculously hilarious, and total comedy genius.
It was an early-morning TV interview, so pick-up was probably around 6:30am. When she walked out of the hotel she had barely any makeup on (if any), and her hair was kind of a mess (like she just rolled out of bed). She still looked absolutely gorgeous though, so I figured she was just rockin’ the laid-back look.
TV stations are BIG TIME sticklers about what time you arrive there, and what time you go on. If you’re late, they get really mad – they’re on a very tight schedule. We were right on time, and had about 5 minutes before Jennifer’s interview. As they were getting her mic’d up, she turns to me and goes, “Oh, my GOD – there’s going to be a makeup and hair person, right?”
Me: “Uhm… no. This is just a local TV station…. uhhhhh…”
Jennifer: “Oh sheeeaaaat.”
I couldn’t help but giggle (she sounded exactly like her character in Best in Show when she said that), but she made do with what she had – put her hair up in a quick bun, and quickly swiped on some lipstick. What cracked me up is that she spent the most time frantically trying to stick on some fake nails that she had in her purse from a drugstore! So hilarious.
She made it on air just fine, and looked lovely. She was supa sweet.
Jake is the nicest fella ever, and I always love taking him to press. He’s so easy peasy, and so much fun! The last time we had a conversation about zombies for some reason (not the first time I’ve had a zombie conversation with Jake – we always seem to get on the topic – maybe that’s why we bond so well?) – it went something like this:
Me: “Do you ever think about the zombie apocalypse?”
Jake: “All the time. It’s more about WHEN it’s going to happen though, right? Not IF it’s going to happen.”
Me: “THAT’S WHAT I’M ALWAYS TELLING PEOPLE!”
Jake: “Right?? But really, you’re pretty safe right? I mean, Comedy Works is kind of a fortress in itself?”
Me: “True. It’s got big heavy doors. You could hide down there for a while without the zombies even smelling you.”
Jake: “And there are only so many entrances. It’s pretty fortified.”
Me: “And there’s an endless amount of fried food in the back. Well, not ENDLESS, but it’s there.”
Jake: “I’d think that’s a good place to hunker down when the zombies come.”
Yeah, he’s awesome.
Then what made it even COOLER was that about a week later he was on the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, AND HE MENTIONS THE ZOMBIES. Yeah, I freaked out a little bit. I’m the one who started that conversation.
Here is the video clip – you have to watch his stand-up set first before the interview, but you won’t regret it. He mentions it at the 6:24 mark… (He’s so funny)…
And just so you know – YES – there are a few divas out there. But luckily the majority of the comics I’ve met have not fallen into that category. I’m not going to bad mouth anyone here because a couple of them hang out with very bad-ass looking individuals that could snap my neck in two with their pinkie fingers. By accident.
So I’ll stick with the funny, thanks.