Megan’s post earlier today reminded me of the fact that John and I can’t play board games together anymore.
It all began when my family and I decided to bring out an old favorite at Christmastime – “Scattergories”.
Now, let me preface this with saying that John is a very passionate and competitive person. It’s a quality that I love about him! He throws himself fully into every situation, and goes for the gold every time. It’s pretty great, and I love that he gets so excited about things.
However, sometimes “competitive” turns a bit “crazy”. And during this particular game, John wanted to WIN.
Now, I don’t remember exactly what words were exchanged. But I do remember getting SO MAD at the fact that John had to get ALL of the words, even when they didn’t seem to follow the rules. Even when we took a “vote” about whether or not the word was something we’d all accept, he’d get angry and he’d still get the point even if we all voted “no”.
It was pretty much my first moment I’d ever felt like murdering John in front of my family.
OK, that makes it sound like I’ve wanted to murder him a lot of times in front of my family, but that’s not really true. This was really the only time, honest.
—-
Anyhoodle, skip forward a few months to a dinner night at Katy & George’s place. We all decided to play “Pictionary”. That’s safe, right?
Uhm…. apparently not.
Someone decided it’d be fun to do a Girls VS Boys game (yeah, because that always works out so well), which only complicated things further. John was determined to win this one for the boys, and bend the rules to his liking* – causing a lot of frustrated yelling and cursing, and name-calling that was said jokingly but probably mostly true.
Example:
John: “We totally had that right before you did! We totally did!”
Katy: “Uhm, well Marc was looking at our drawing and not yours.”
John: “But he can do that! It doesn’t matter – he got it first!”
Me: “Actually he didn’t, we totally got it right first.”
Marc: “Yeah, I do think they actually did get it first.”
John: “Shut up, Marc! YOU GOT IT RIGHT FIRST DAMMIT!”
(or something like that)
*Now, John doesn’t think he was “bending the rules”… and many times he said “this is always how WE play it.” Eventually I picked up the box and shoved the instruction sheet in his face and screamed THAT’S NOT HOW THE BOX SAYS TO PLAY IT! Which shut him up for a little while at least. But I digress.
—-
Today I told Megan about John’s board-game-winning-strategies.
Me: “You know how you were talking about Words With Friends earlier? You probably should never play Scrabble with John. He’s pretty crazy-competitive.
The reason I don’t play Pictionary with him either.
Or Clue.
You know, it’s probably just to avoid board games with John all together. 
”
Megan: “I once almost ended a friendship over ‘Sorry’”
Me: “That’s kind of appropriate though? Sorry we can’t be friends anymore because of Sorry.”
Megan: “Exactly.
It sounds like John and I should never play a board game together.
I think there’s a good chance we’d both get a bit stabby.”
Me: “Haha! Yes, true.
I just had an image of you guys attacking each other with the mini-weapons from the Clue board game.”
Megan: “Dibs on the lead pipe”
Me: “You could stick it up his nose.”
Megan: “obvi 
”
Me: “LOL”
So John, you’ve been warned. You may want to count the Clue board pieces ’cause Mrs. White* is coming after you… most likely in the living room, with the lead pipe.
But really, when it comes down to it, these are just games. Sure, John gets excited and competitive, but I guess I do as well (otherwise I wouldn’t bother yelling back). That’s what makes it fun and exciting right? Wanting to murder your friends and loved ones over a game? That’s fun!
Luckily card games and dominoes seem to still be relatively safe. So far…
*Megan, you’re only Mrs. White because you’re…. well… so white. Well, kinda gangsta, but still pretty white.
